You know when I think of ‘social networking‘, I think of mixing business with pleasure for sure. But I tend to think it’s more ’social’ than it is ‘networking’. And until every man and his dog started trying to use the social media sites to grow their online business, that’s the way it was.

You went on Facebook to keep up with your friends, not to pitch them on your latest business opportunity.

You ‘dug’ a site or video because you found it interesting and entertaining, not because you wanted to generate a load of traffic back to your sales page.

You signed up to (and participated!) in forums that were related to your interests, as a way of meeting, helping, and being helped by other folks who were into the same things as you, not as a way of getting a backlink to your blog so you could fool the search engines into thinking you were more popular than you really were.

Now, it seems like the social aspect has been totally removed. Of course, all the experts say to make sure you don’t come across as too salesy, but in the end all they’re really saying is to ‘pretend‘ to do all the things you used to do quite naturally.

And hands up, I confess, I’ve even been guilty of it myself. My only excuse (and it’s a very poor one) is that prior to coming online to try and earn a living, I hadn’t ever bothered coming online to socialise. (it’s an age thing )

So it was kind of easy for me to think that all these sites were really there for the purpose I was being told they were there for – a way of getting more people to buy stuff from me and make me rich!

Fast forward to today and after having gained a little bit more knowledge and more than a few more grey hairs along the way, let me tell you for sure that you’ll do a whole lot better if you stop pretending to be a social butterfly and just get on and be one.

I’ve talked before about the power of using social media to build your reputation and your business. But in all honesty, looking back, I was thinking exactly what I’m talking about not doing now!

Yes, the key is to be social first. You most definitely want to look at social networking as a way of increasing your friendships. You should absolutely consider what you can do to help those friends with their problems.

But (and here’s the important bit, so pay attention), if the only ‘friends’ you mix with are potential customers, then you’re just pretending. You’re really just networking and touting for business. And you know how annoying it is when you see all those ‘pretend’ marketers? The ones who kid you they’re making a fortune while sitting on their backsides, sipping Martini’s?

Well the only thing worse than being a ‘pretend’ marketer is being a ‘pretend’ friend!